The Calling

I love synchronicity! Those times when your entire reality is speaking to you, pointing you in one clear direction. Granted, I wasn’t always able to hear these messages – being as angry with the world as I once was – but having learned how to forgive the world, which began with my ability to forgive myself, well that’s when I heard the call that brought me to this amazing place: a Stupa. A Stupa is a symbol of the Buddha, and more accurately, of the Buddha’s enlightened mind and presence. The mound itself is said to represent the form of the seated Buddha, the spire, meditating and striving towards enlightenment and finally, the jewel at the top represents enlightenment itself, the pinnacle of Buddhist achievement. It is said that encountering a Stupa in one’s lifetime is incredibly auspicious and that simply walking around it (especially when in mindful and intentional prayer for the alleviation of suffering of all beings) aids in liberating numberless sentient beings. I didn’t know any of this…not at first; not even when I was called to it, one fateful night over 20 years ago.

I had never heard of the cosmic phenomenon before but according my Astrologer friend, it had something to do with a planetary alignment that was creating a portal that would enable Divine Feminine energy to flow into our planet; something about balancing out the extreme masculine energies with an influx of Divine Feminine energy. Sweet! That’s all I needed to know! But I also intuitively knew that I must make it a point to be somewhere “special” to receive the full benefit of the upcoming, rare, cosmic event. But where to go? Ideally, somewhere in nature, I thought. But being bound to my life (and job) in the city, and being strapped for time and funds, I became frustrated and fell under a spell of depression. I felt stuck.

At 28, I had never felt “at home” in my life. Never having been very ambitious regarding a career nor inclined toward materialism, I’ve always valued free time over money and freedom over the trappings of accumulating a bunch of stuff. I felt like my 9:00-5:00, no-time-for-anything-else-in-life job was suffocating me in its purposelessness. I felt like I was drowning in my way of life and although I was always searching, I couldn’t see a way out. So, not being able to leave and feeling trapped in the city, I threw out a prayer. “Please Universe, please make a way for me to be somewhere that is in harmony with receiving what I am meant to from this cosmic event.” Then I let it go and went about my daily routine.

A few days later I received a call from a friend. “Hey, I have two free tickets to the Symphony next week and I thought of you. Apparently it’s supposed to be some kind of rare and special event.” “Oh nice! Rare and special how? I asked. “Well the theme – and the reason I thought of you in the first place – is the Divine Feminine. It’s called: The Spiral of Creation and the conductor is one of the only female conductors in the Country. Wanna go?” “Wait…” my heart leaped as I processed the miraculous invitation, “a free concert whose theme is sacred geometry and the Divine Feminine? “Yeah! I wanna go for sure! That’s perfect!” I blurted out. “When is the concert?” And when my friend told me that it would be on the same night as the rare cosmic event, I knew my prayer had been answered.

That night we were running late and by the time we reached the nearly empty lobby, we realized that everyone had already been seated. Rushing up the maze of carpeted stairs and into the concert hall, I was relived to have found our seats within enough time so as not to be a disruption to the concert. Plopping down and trying to catch my breath, my heartbeat began to return to its normal rhythm as I smiled wide and sat forward on the edge of the red-velvet covered seat. The musicians were already seated on stage and I watched with admiration as they each prepared for the performance in their own way; some leafing through sheet music, others practicing their part, and a few who sat in an almost meditative stillness. “Imagine the discipline!” I whispered to my friend. He agreed with a silent nod. “Ah! And there’s the flutes!” I had searched the stage and found my favorite section.

Becoming aware of the audience, I then glanced around the enormous circular auditorium. It was as if each person of the thousands present were co-pilots in a spaceship preparing for lift off. The anticipation was palpable. Smiling, I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes, focusing on the unintelligible hum of human voices and noticing how it sounded like a symphony of its own. The lights began to dim and the room quieted to a hushed whisper with a few lingering coughs and clearing throats echoing loudly. Just then, the musician’s clamor subsided and they rose to their feet as the conductor made her entrance to a roar of applause that floated upward and filled the domed ceiling. As she took her place on stage, the room became deafeningly quiet. The raising of her baton into the air caused a brief “whoosh” sound as each musician raised their instrument in one perfectly synchronized movement.

Keeping my eyes closed, I was ready to take in the sacred sounds of the Divine Feminine. I smiled wide knowing that I was exactly where I was meant to be, and felt the synchronicity of the cosmos aligning in my entire being as the first notes of music reverberated around the circular space and caressed my ears.

For nearly the entire duration of the concert my eyes remained closed as the music swept me into an unexpected inner journey. Except for my unrelenting smile and the tears of joy that steadily ran down my face, the power of the vibrations, frequencies and sounds found me paralyzed in bliss! I was spellbound by the haunting melodies and the masterful interplay of all the instruments swirling around, filling the concert hall and my entire being. The musical compositions were alive and visual in my mind’s eye. The resounding percussion instruments were explosions of light that blasted open portals in the darkness. The strings were ribbons of color flowing into space. The brass instruments were creators of differing geometric light forms and the woodwinds and bells were sparkles of energy that filled the space in between it all! Keeping in mind the heavenly events that were underway as the music played, I opened up to the balancing energies of the cosmos, willing myself to be the physical embodiment of the Divine Feminine. Yes, something happened to me there in that concert hall; I received a gift, I was certain of it.

“Wow!” I sat shaking my head and wiping my eyes dry as the lights came up. And slowly coming back into my body, I laughed to myself at having forgotten where I was and that I was not alone. My awareness widened to the stirring and excited murmur of the enormous audience and my friend’s face came into view. The look of awe he held must have mirrored my own. “Whew!” he looked at me and nodded, seeming to breathlessly agree with whatever he saw on my face. And as neither of us could find the words to express what we had just experienced, we stood staring at each other, locked in a moment of speechless stupor, and then burst out laughing! “Thank you!” I threw a big hug around his neck, “that was more incredible than I could have even imagined!”

Happily making our way down the stairs through the thick crowd of people, we finally reached the lobby. That’s when I noticed an art exhibit that I hadn’t seen on the way in, having been in too much of a rush. The paintings were absolutely stunning and miraculously similar to the inner visions I had just received during the concert! I was immediately drawn to get a closer look. Twisting, weaving and ducking, I navigated the heavy current of human bodies until I made my way to the other side of the large room. Once there, I stood face-to-face with the painting that called to me the most. “I recognize this symbol!” I gasped with surprise. And looking down the line of paintings that hung from the wall on either side, I realized that I was somehow familiar with them all. But this one…it had something to reveal to me, I knew it, for just the sight of it seemed to trigger something powerful within me. “What do you want to show me and where do I know you from?” I asked the powerful image, fully expecting an answer. Created with some kind of metallic paint, the large green and pink flower symbol shimmered. It was mesmerizing! Looking for clues, I then saw the name of the exhibit: A Work of Sacred Geometry. My heart leaped in joy at the further confirmation and synchronicity of the auspicious night. My eyes were next drawn to the bottom of the painting where a small gold dedication plaque read:

“The Heart Chakra – Dedicated to the Divine Mother Temple – Haidakhandi Ashram, Crestone, CO.”

“What?! Oh wow! The Heart Chakra?!” I spoke aloud to myself, “…and an Ashram…in Colorado? Crestone, Colorado? Where’s that?” By now my friend was standing beside me. “What?” he asked, curious at my excitement. “Have you ever heard of an Ashram, here in Colorado?” I asked, pointing to the plaque’s inscription. “Mmm…nope,” he squinted to see the writing. “Me either! That’s crazy! I thought Ashrams only existed in far off countries or in places on the other side of the world!” “Yeah, that’s interesting,” he lied, already moving on to the next painting. But as I stood staring, I knew that coming across this information was somehow deeply meaningful.

“The Divine Mother? That’s exactly in line with everything tonight! The energy of the planetary alignment, the Spiral of Creation symphony and now this painting of the Heart Chakra?! The Heart Chakra of all things!” I stood there in awe of it all.

            “Follow YOUR heart,” the words rang like an inward bell.

“How perfect!” I thought, excited to rush home and search the internet for this Ashram. I just knew I had to find this place and go there!

The very next weekend I was on my way to Southern Colorado. Nearing my destination, I had a sudden recollection. Many years back while on a road trip through Colorado to New Mexico with my dad, here on the very same stretch of highway, a perfectly complete and giant rainbow swelled across the valley, sitting just in front of a majestic mountain range to the East. Of course I had seen rainbows before but never one like that! In the city you see parts of them high in the sky and usually, partially blocked out by buildings and such, but this one…it looked like it sat right on the ground, unobstructed from one end to the other. It looked as though we could turn toward the mountains and drive right up to it! So wondrous was the spectacle that my dad – who I never knew to hold reverence for such things – stopped the car and we all got out to marvel at the natural wonder.

“Holy moly!” I squealed at the memory, “I remember this place…that mountain with the flat looking peak! Could it be? Is the Ashram in these mountains?” And looking at the map again I was shocked to find out that yes, in just another mile I was to turn toward those same mountains – the ones where I had seen that most beautiful rainbow so long ago. A feeling of deja vu took hold and I knew that a mysterious and profound puzzle was coming together in my life. A bit further up the road I saw the small, inconspicuous sign that read, “Crestone,” with an arrow pointing toward the mountains. I marveled at how many times I had driven past the sign without ever noticing it before.

The snow-capped peaks loomed larger and larger as I drove the thirteen mile stretch leading right toward the foot of the Sangre de Cristo’s. And after the second sharp curve of the snaking road, I noticed something strange; looking straight ahead, the air seemed to be swirling, like a barely visible energy force that seemed to be emanating from the mountains themselves. “What is that?” I rubbed my eyes. “I must just be tired from the road,” I tried to rationalize. But the closer I got, the more I felt an accompanying sense of overwhelm; I was surprised to be resisting the urge to cry. “What’s going on?” I wondered, becoming a bit frightened, like the first time I saw the vastness of the ocean or the splendor of a star filled night sky. The swirling air seemed to be pulling at me, pulling me into it, and by the time I reached the end of the road that split off in two different directions, I felt like I had entered a dream. Dizzy, emotional and overwhelmed, all I could do was sit in my car and stare at the majesty of the mountains. Like a kingdom of their own, the jutting rocks that shot up from their face looked like a thousand cathedrals reaching into the sky. I was awestruck!

The Ashram was beautiful and the people there received me with openness and kindness but it was the mountains that left the biggest impression upon me. And by the time I left back home to the city, I knew that it was they – those wise, ancient beings we call mountains – that had called to me. I couldn’t have known back then, all of the wonders that those mountains held for me and the profound impact that they and the power of the land would have upon my life. And still, all these years later, they continue to draw me deeper into their power and mystery, revealing more to me about life and about my own power than I could have ever imagined possible.

The Stupa is something I did not discover until at least a year later, as I was called back again and again. It was in this place, circumambulating the Stupa, supported by the energy of the land and the wisdom of the mountains, that I had one of the most powerful realizations of my life thus far; I realized that it is fully within my power to master my own reality day by day. And so it is with us all, who are willing to answer The Call.